Happy 5th year old
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU JARED! Love from mummy
These are all the things for you. We always remember to get presents for you on your birthday, and they are now in the shelves of our room. Did you get to see n use them?
These are all the things for you. We always remember to get presents for you on your birthday, and they are now in the shelves of our room. Did you get to see n use them?
written by
daddy
For your brother n sister to know
I think I have wrote what had happened to you before but it was in chinese, and now the chinese language has turn out to be some arabic words. Anyway, I shall write it down here in English so that your brother and sister will be able to know what have happened.
I still remember that day on 21st night, after we attended a friend's wedding, Mummy was having rather bad tightenings that extended to pain in the back. Actually, all along throughout the pregnancy, Mummy had been having on and off bleeding which was due to polyp as what the stupid gynae had mentioned, but the gynae had mentioned it was nothing serious. Anyway, Daddy brought Mummy to KKH immediately. That time, Mummy was only nearly 24 weeks pregnant. At KKH, being first time pregnant, it was then Mummy knew that what I had been having were contractions. Mummy stayed in hospital, trying to stop the contractions, but eventually, it was still fated to be. When you were borned, because you were just merely near to 24 weeks, the doctors actually didn't want to save you, but because Mummy gave birth too quickly and unexpectedly, the doctors just went ahead to save. You were soooo small whe borned, just merely 700 grams plus, hooked up immediately on tubes and machines and pushed away to neonatal ICU. I still remember seeing your very tiny little body lying in an incubator...You were perfect, just like any other babies, except you were much much smaller. I think you will be as handsome as your brother, if you ever get to grow up...
I only saw you once as Mummy was on confinement. On Christmas day 3am plus, we received a call from KKH. The doctor told us that you were having bleeding in the brain which was common among premature babies, but it was grade 3 or 4, which meant rather serious bleeding. They asked us whether we wanted them to save you or just let you go. He told us, even if we saved you, you would be left with permanent disability. It was a very very painful decision to make. But still we had to make it. We chose to let you go. We did not want to burden you in future. The only choice we had was to let you go with buddha. I hope you do not blame us for the cruel decision we made. We were so lost that time, the only thing we could think of was we did not want you to suffer. You were only a baby. We really did not want you to be in pains of any miseries in future.
Daddy and your god grandma went to send YOU off. I did not go cause I was on confinement, and people told me not to go as it might weaken my health...I regretted, truely regretted, cause I did not ever have the chance to hold you. I believe your Daddy went through a painful memory of sending you off, holding you in his arms, seeing you slowly slowly took your one last breath.
You were cremented and your ashes were thrown in Changi sea. You brought with you a snoopy soft toy meant to as your Christmas present. So now, we associate any snoopy things to you.
We celebrated your every birthdays, every night Mummy will say good night to you, do you know?
Jared, we just want to let you know, we will forever miss you, and love you. Your brother and sister will always be reminded that they have an eldest brother.
One day when we are old and left this world, we will tell them to help us say "happy birthday" to you, and go to Changi beach to visit you. Every night if possible, I will remind them to also say "good night" to you, just like what Mummy is doing now...
We love you Jared. Forever...
I still remember that day on 21st night, after we attended a friend's wedding, Mummy was having rather bad tightenings that extended to pain in the back. Actually, all along throughout the pregnancy, Mummy had been having on and off bleeding which was due to polyp as what the stupid gynae had mentioned, but the gynae had mentioned it was nothing serious. Anyway, Daddy brought Mummy to KKH immediately. That time, Mummy was only nearly 24 weeks pregnant. At KKH, being first time pregnant, it was then Mummy knew that what I had been having were contractions. Mummy stayed in hospital, trying to stop the contractions, but eventually, it was still fated to be. When you were borned, because you were just merely near to 24 weeks, the doctors actually didn't want to save you, but because Mummy gave birth too quickly and unexpectedly, the doctors just went ahead to save. You were soooo small whe borned, just merely 700 grams plus, hooked up immediately on tubes and machines and pushed away to neonatal ICU. I still remember seeing your very tiny little body lying in an incubator...You were perfect, just like any other babies, except you were much much smaller. I think you will be as handsome as your brother, if you ever get to grow up...
I only saw you once as Mummy was on confinement. On Christmas day 3am plus, we received a call from KKH. The doctor told us that you were having bleeding in the brain which was common among premature babies, but it was grade 3 or 4, which meant rather serious bleeding. They asked us whether we wanted them to save you or just let you go. He told us, even if we saved you, you would be left with permanent disability. It was a very very painful decision to make. But still we had to make it. We chose to let you go. We did not want to burden you in future. The only choice we had was to let you go with buddha. I hope you do not blame us for the cruel decision we made. We were so lost that time, the only thing we could think of was we did not want you to suffer. You were only a baby. We really did not want you to be in pains of any miseries in future.
Daddy and your god grandma went to send YOU off. I did not go cause I was on confinement, and people told me not to go as it might weaken my health...I regretted, truely regretted, cause I did not ever have the chance to hold you. I believe your Daddy went through a painful memory of sending you off, holding you in his arms, seeing you slowly slowly took your one last breath.
You were cremented and your ashes were thrown in Changi sea. You brought with you a snoopy soft toy meant to as your Christmas present. So now, we associate any snoopy things to you.
We celebrated your every birthdays, every night Mummy will say good night to you, do you know?
Jared, we just want to let you know, we will forever miss you, and love you. Your brother and sister will always be reminded that they have an eldest brother.
One day when we are old and left this world, we will tell them to help us say "happy birthday" to you, and go to Changi beach to visit you. Every night if possible, I will remind them to also say "good night" to you, just like what Mummy is doing now...
We love you Jared. Forever...
written by
daddy
